Selfish Bastard
by Snapjinx
Summary: TESLEN! Spoilers for "Trail of Blood" - a what-happened-after-the-credits fic. Idea courtesy of MissCheerfully over on the gateworld Teslen thread.:  SMUT AND ANGST AHOY!


**Just a little Teslen ficlet for what happened immediately following "Trail of Blood." OH YES! My Telsen mojo is BACK after that lovely episode! **

**Smutty, but nothing above T rating. I like to keep my writing available to most audiences. ;) Also, Nikola really is a selfish bastard, but that's part of the reason I adore him so freaking much. :) **

**Sanctuary, in all it's brilliance, belongs to the Holy Trinity (Damian, Amanda, and Martin) :D**

**EDIT****: I changed the ending a bit, thanks to Littlekittycat pointing out some holes. It's not too much happier, but it is a bit more hopeful. I'm more happy with it, anyway.  
**

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_Selfish Bastard_

* * *

"Ow." A pause. "_Ow_!"

Helen shot the pouting genius a wry look. "When did you become such a child?"

"When did you become such a sadist?" he shot right back.

A few gurneys over, Henry snorted. Helen glanced across the infirmary at her adopted son before focusing back on Nikola Tesla—or more accurately the large gash on his forehead. "This is just the antiseptic, Nikola. What are you going to when I stitch it up?"

He jerked his head back away from her hands and regarded her with suspicion. "Stitches?"

Helen smiled sweetly. "This is how normal human beings heal."

She tried to reach for his face again, but he turned his head, hissing in derision. "Helen, that was uncalled for. You know I hate the 'n' word."

Across the room, Henry stretched with a happy sigh and hopped off his gurney. Turning, he shot Nikola a snarky smirk worthy of the genius himself. "Well, I'm gonna go be my _abnormal_ self in my office."

"Subtle," Nikola growled under his breath.

"You should get some sleep, Henry," Helen called after the disappearing techie.

Then the infirmary doors shut and the silence enveloped the two of the Five.

"Mmm, alone again," Nikola murmured seductively.

Helen shot him a look and swiped the antiseptic on his cut a bit less gently than before. He yelped and jerked back again and Helen smiled. Nikola recovered and shot her a smirk.

"Ahhh, Helen. So beautiful, even sadism suits you."

Helen just shook her head and went back to carefully cleaning out the wound. She and Nikola were still dressed in their clothes from the misadventure in Colombia, and every bit of grime from the cave still coated their skin. Nikola was perched on the edge of a gurney and Helen stood before him, tending his cut herself since the Big Guy was nowhere to be found. Kate had informed them about the incident with the priest and Helen would go find her friend as soon as she had dealt with more pressing matters. Like Nikola and his new pet. And then a shower.

Speaking of the former, the larvae Nikola had snatched was sitting in a container, waiting for Helen to take it away to be incinerated. She did not like destroying life, but these things could not be allowed to live. She'd made Nikola hand it over and as soon as she'd finished patching him up, she'd go take care of it.

"How are your ears?" she asked presently.

"There's an insistent ringing, but I can hear again," Nikola replied, dryly.

Helen finished with the antiseptic and set down the swab, picking up a small square of gauze.

Nikola frowned. "What happened to stitches?"

"I was only teasing, Nikola," Helen said with a smirk. "It isn't that serious."

"More sadism?"

"Maybe I just like watching you squirm," she shot back.

In answer, he simply smirked and his gaze dropped down to her lips. Almost involuntarily, Helen slid her tongue out to wet them. Nikola's eyes darted back to hers and she felt her heart speed up.

She cleared her throat loudly to distract her. "Could you move your knees please? I need to be closer to the wound."

Instead of swinging his legs them to the side, Nikola simply spread them apart. Helen sighed, but she had lost sense of shame long ago. Stepping between his knees, she ignored how close they were now and busied herself positioning the gauze over the freshly cleaned wound. Once she had it right, she expertly secured it to his skin with two strips of medical tape and stepped back.

Or tried to.

Somehow the genius had lost none of his vampiric grace and stealth. He'd somehow managed to get both hands around to her back and now had her pinned. Their bodies were mere inches apart and when Helen took a deep breath in, their chests touched. Without foreplay or warning, Nikola swept forward and pressed his mouth over hers.

It was so unexpected, Helen froze for a moment. Then she pulled back sharply, gasping out his name in protest.

"Nikola!"

He was already speaking—"I'm sorry, Helen. I just—I couldn't help myself." He released her and wouldn't meet her eyes. "You have no idea what you do to me."

His voice was soft and vulnerable. This was not the Nikola she knew. Was it possible that his new mortality was actually causing him to open up to someone? This was something Helen could not ignore. With a hand on his cheek, she lifted his face until his green eyes met her blue ones.

It was an insignificant moment—a simple meeting of gazes—but something in Helen shifted. It was as if a cloud bank had opened, revealing the sun. She saw what had always been there, but she had never noticed—or had ignored.

As if sensing the shift, Nikola moved closer again, but hesitated this time. It was Helen who closed the distance. Digging her fingers into his unruly hair to keep him from moving away, her mouth devoured his as though she'd never get to kiss him again. Shocked though he was, Nikola kept up. His arms encircled her middle, pulling her tight against him.

As her fingers scrambled over the impossible buckles on Nikola's new field-suit, Helen reflected somewhat detachedly that in their century and a half of knowing one another, they'd never kissed other than a peck on the cheek.

Clearly, she'd been missing out.

Finally, laughing in that insufferable way of his, Nikola pulled away to help her with his shirt. She made a tiny noise of disappointment and reattached her lips to his. He was still chuckling as his long, elegant fingers quickly unfastened every buckle on the coat. Helen's eager hands shoved it off his shoulders and down his arms.

As she explored the lean, wiry muscle of his torso, his talented hands began drifting up under her shirt. With a burst of strength, he pulled her on top of him, falling back onto the gurney. Helen gave a girlish squeal of alarm like she hadn't since the old days.

And, giggling like teenagers, the two ancient ones finally fulfilled what the Universe had been trying to arrange for over a hundred years.

[]

Nikola awoke, opening just his eyes.

He was a master of self-control. He'd spent his long life denying himself many things. Not the least of which was a certain lovely Miss Magnus. And now he'd finally given in, but not at all like he'd planned. Staring at the ceiling, he felt guilt and self-loathing twist his gut. He hadn't felt those two emotions since his brother had died. Turning his head silently, he saw Helen's face, peaceful in rest, inches from his own. She was dead asleep, her head pillowed on his shoulder, rich curls of chocolate hair framing her relaxed face.

He could have killed himself in that moment.

But it didn't stop him from slithering off the gurney. He dressed as quietly as a soft breeze and picked the larvae container up off the side table. Briefly checking that the creature was still alive, he slipped it into one of his jacket pockets. Looking down on Helen, still unconscious, that sensation of betraying the one he loved took another punch to his stomach. The guilt nearly made him wake her right then and explain things. He could tell her he loved her, tell her goodbye and promise to be back. He could get away before she noticed the larvae, right? He went as far as stretching his hand out to her shoulder, but stopped himself inches away from touching her bare skin.

Clenching his teeth, he forcibly pulled his hand back. She wasn't stupid. She'd look for the larvae container as soon as she saw that he was up and dressed. Nikola took a step back, forcing distance between them. Briefly he thought of leaving a note, but that was tacky. Brushing his hand over the lump where the larvae waited to save his life, Nikola made his decision. For the umpteenth time, he was going to do what benefited him rather than worry about Helen's feelings.

Yeah, he was selfish. But it didn't mean he was incapable of love.

Finally, he stepped close again and placed the lightest of kisses on her forehead. "I'll be back, my love," he whispered into her hair. "I swear to you, I'll never truly abandon you."

[]

Helen awoke on the gurney, staring up at the infirmary ceiling. Shifting, pleased with the relaxed state of her body, she pushed up, leaning back on her elbows. It only took her mere seconds to realize two things.

Nikola was gone.

And so was the larvae.

Helen swore loudly and obscenely—a long string of epithets—before falling back onto the gurney with a frustrated, muffled scream. He'd done it again. Used that charm and wit, conniving to get what he wanted with no care for who got hurt. Not that she was hurt. No. Living as long as she had meant that her sense of insult was long since dead. She had no idea if he'd meant anything of what he'd said the night before, but it didn't matter.

Helen slammed her fist into the mattress at her side, teeth clenched.

It was just irritating.

"Selfish bastard," she said aloud.

But if she were to be really honest with herself (something she'd stopped decades ago) she would have to admit that a tiny piece of her felt as though it had fallen into place over the course of that night. And now that he was gone, yet again, she was more aware of the hole in her heart where he was meant to be.

"Selfish, arrogant _bastard_," she whispered now, frightened by the tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes.

She loved him.

**~fine**


End file.
